For some time now, E and I have been so focused on the trees that we missed the forest. Specifically, we were focused on my keeping my job at BIG INC, but totally didn't notice that the job wasn't a good fit.
The job was all about numbers, and my pregnancy's fatigue and new motherhood limited my accuracy a great deal. I was put on probation, basically, and given the opportunity to improve. So every day I was worried that I would make the mistake that would cost me my job. Every. Freakin'. Day. The job required 90% accuracy...so you can see how stressful that would have been.
So when my boss asked me to meet with her yesterday in the team room (vs her office), I pretty much knew what to expect. Was I sad? Sure. Of course. No one likes rejection and despite a very amicable parting, it still sucks to be fired. But I was also relieved. No more starting the day wondering if I was going to be awake enough to do my job. No more stressing at the end of the day - worrying if the tasks accomplished were done well enough.
E and I are planners by nature, and had run our financial decisions through several "what if" scenarios, and this was one of them. So I have the time to figure out where I want to go from here.