Three years

I started this blog three years ago.

All I can say is wow.

I look at the post that started everything, and my resolutions for 2009, and can't help but notice I am horrible at making resolutions. Really.

That story I mentioned, the one "so close" to ready- experienced a major rewrite that altered several aspects of the plot and deepened the characters to the point that much of it is painstakingly and slowly getting rewritten or heavily edited. Not that I'm spending a lot of time on writing. It's not like I can just say, Write more! Because exactly when can I find the time (especially since Ranger pushes my office chair -with me in it- away from the computer since it means he doesn't have my undivided attention). So that leaves "in my spare time," which usually falls sometime after 8pm, when I'm so exhausted that it takes me five times to type exhausted properly (ehx...exau...exhas).

And the take better care of myself resolution, as in Go to the gym 2-3 times a week?

ha.

I like my gym (New York Sports Club here in Forest Hills). I like that there is daycare service so I can work out and know Ranger's having a nice time (he likes their toy selection, and is able to get along with the other kids well). But the last time I tried a class, I left feeling good about the physical exercise but iffy about the instructor. Her motivation style was a little too military training instructor, when I prefer something that mixes a "it's your workout" with "try a little harder, then keep trying" and I know instructors like that are out there. They are just not in the time slots I have available to me. I don't get much out of going on my own and putzing about the equipment for 45 minutes, and I'm not quite in the range of ability to pay for a weekly or monthly trainer (who would then likely tell me I'm not doing enough on my own).

Now, with regards to the other part of that resolution, I do a pretty darn good job of moderation on the food intake and eating good for me stuff. I am very proud to say I fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans around a year after Ranger was born, and was even having some difficulty with that size being just a touch too loose (but not loose enough that I needed the next size down). Given that I had the whole ankle mishap serious of events (injury followed later on by corrective surgery and all that goes along with the healing process), I can't complain about my sizes. (I'd be lying if I said I never complain about weight, but that's not my standard measurement of health- I long ago decided that using pant sizes and my vital stats such as cholesterol and blood pressure etc was a better guide for how I'm doing. That doesn't mean I love stepping on the scales, or hearing it from the various people whose job it is to tell people their weight doesn't conform to their height.)

When I wrote that first post, I really wanted to be a mom. It's not like we had been trying for long, but it FELT like a long time, and it would be another three months before things worked out in that aspect. Now I am a mom. And since I lost my job there at BIG INC four months after Ranger was born, I get to spend every day experiencing being a mom. I would be lying to you if I said it was all sunshine and roses all the time with glitter on top. But it is wonderful, and at the moment I like it better than I liked sitting behind a desk wondering if I was using the proper Excel formula in the proper place with the proper cell references.

So. Three years... in which we had a baby, I lost a job, we moved to Queens, I overcame ankle surgery, came to some hard emotional understandings about the *mere prospect* of mortal parents, and now...

Recently we had the joy of seeing the flitter flutter of baby number two's heart beat. It will be a while before I we can come up with a cool name like "Ranger" for baby 2 (right now we're calling it 2Gs, because we're nerdy like that). Anyhow, this pregnancy is hitting my energy levels hard (post a blog or nap? Sew that pattern that I really want to make or nap? Write on the story or nap? Any guesses as to what my standard choice is right now?). So if I don't post as much, you'll understand why.

We're on staycation this week. Hopefully I'll get to nap more since E's home to tag team.

I hope everyone had a great and happy holidays, and that a healthy and happy new year.