I wish something like this could actually exist

Yesterday I was riding the R line on the subway - thankfully only one stop- when the car filled with the unmistakeable smell of cigarette smoke. There weren't many people in the car...and no one was going to say anything because you can't know what kind of crazy a person has.
So I got off at my stop wishing there HAD been someone...

That's when I thought of the idea for a Pocket Marine*

When you need someone to take a stand, but you're definitely not that person...take out your ever faithful Pocket Marine* and he will take care of whatever situation needs his attention. It doesn't matter where you are, you can activate your Pocket Marine* and know you are safe and the unpleasant or frightening situation will quickly be corrected. When he has addressed your concerns, the Pocket Marine* is happy to escort you to your next destination, or can be dismissed to a resting state.

Pocket Marine* is a Beta version and thus currently only available in the male gender.
Pocket Marines* must be provided specific care and handling, as outlined in the reference manual that arrives with your Pocket Marine*. See specifically part 3 paragraph 7 lines 1-15 regarding fitness and health, as a Pocket Marine* may malfunction without this important care.

The basic Pocket Marine* model is recommended for ages 21 and older (see part 4 paragraph 1 lines 1-6 regarding alcohol consumption dangers for your Pocket Marine*. Allowing your Pocket Marine* unrestricted access to adult beverages may result in a situation that can only be contained by our most advanced Pocket Marine* Gunny line.)

Pocket Marines* are able to provide their unique skills to children who are victims of bullying- see the special Pocket Marine* Father line if you are purchasing your Pocket Marine* for anyone under 21 (this version may cause some strife if the recipient wishes to engage in unsafe behavior, as Pocket Marine* Father can be very protective. Program glitches may disrupt dating situations.)

Coming soon! Does your child have night terrors? Is your family sleep deprived because of children's constant nightmares? Soon you can provide your child with a Plush Pocket Marine* sleeping companion (most certainly not a doll or stuffed toy), and your child can rest assured those nightmares will wither to nothingness under the protection of Plush Pocket Marine*, available for preorder now, shipping starts next month.