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Friday, March 30, 2012

Manic Toddler Syndrome

Y'all, I just made up a new mental health issue. It describes not the state of mind of the toddler, but the parent's. Manic Toddler Syndrome (MTS). You've probably seen a parent with MTS. They are Frazzled, tired, snappish, have a child or two pulling or being pulled- but these negative moods are interrupted by proud smiles and "good job"s and kisses. Time is the only longtime cure, chocolates and early bed times help alleviate the impact of MTS on parents.
You might have MTS if:

You have been repeating instructions like do not hit, do not bite, gentle with mommy, gentle with your toys for so long you start saying them even when your toddler is down for the night,

You have had to sit until your legs go numb and watch a Duplo bear without moving the bear or otherwise interacting with the Duplo toys. Your only job is to Watch.The. Bear. And be stepped on.

You have seen so many episodes of StupidChildrensShow that the inane songs are keeping you up at night.

You must cross the street while giving constant commentary (hurry hurry fast fast, good hurrying, fast fast, wait stop hand means stop, waiting for go, waiting, wait, patience, let's count blue cars!)

You excitedly report on Facebook or email or twitter that your Toddler just said I love you or accomplished somebigthing

You make dinner plans based on how quickly the server can respond to a spill.

You have worn yourself out tickling and hiding and crawling with someone whose energy levels have a tendency to spike when tired. You might even sport a bruise from an accidental knee to the face.

You would make an absolute fool of yourself for those toddler giggles. Toddler Giggles are THE best.

You have all of the children's books in the house memorized and can read them with a Grover puppet on one hand.

Actually, if you have a toddler, you most likely have experienced MTS.

Ranger is at a point where he is not likely on any given day to nap. I don't need to say much more to parents who have been there done that. He is frustratingly awesome. Annoyingly cute. Quick to be happy, quicker to be sad. In short, he is a quintessential toddler. I love him loads. And bet your Duffy at the end of a day like today...I love the happy silence that settles when he passes into slumber (still holding his light up toy and a book-cute!)

Did I mention we will be having another boy come August? Yeah. Don't think I haven't freaked out about that a few times a day when Ranger is literally bouncing off things and I would let him watch any amount of Dora if it meant he slowed down and/or stopped trying to catapult himself from various pieces of furniture/less than sturdy toys onto me or the poor cat.

I took these photos in one five minute period today. Moments later I declared the bear sufficiently watched and returned to the couch. This sparked a tantrum that I ended with a cheese snack. Because nothing says happy toddler like string cheese.

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