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Tuesday, March 17, 2009

silence during the surge

I apologize for the blogging silence yesterday and most of today. I mentioned last week, and in case you missed it, this is the big "surge" for BIG INC. I don't know what civilians call surge workload.

There are a few great things in military speak that just don't seem to have civilian counterparts. Some of these military speak things are Air Force specific, like "slow roll" and others are common to all branches, like "TDY." A slow roll is what you do with a suspense (which is another military word meaning project or tasking) when you 1) know that a delay might save you from needless work or 2) when you hope a delay might save you from needless work. For example, if the General says he wants everyone to log their fitness points daily, you might slow roll doing it because either you know the order will change (say, the General is about to be promoted and PCS'd moved), or because you hope the order will change. With the former your slow roll was successful, with the latter not so much. There is an art to the slow roll.

A TDY is temporary duty. I still all my husband's business trips TDYs.

I still refer to rank, even though here at BIG INC there is no hierarchy. Ok, there is, but they don't want you to think there is. But since I work in the analysis shop of HR, I need to know what a person's rank is. Except it's called skill. gah! It's like learning another language- I'm still translating everything into civilian.

And I've been a civlian for...two and a half years.

Granted, I grew up military- my mom was in the Army and my dad was in the Marines. We didn't have dishes/clearning the table as a chore, we had KP duty. We were put on restrictions- not grounded. A grocery store was a commissary. Once, after visiting my parents overseas while I was in college, I became so accustomed to showing my military dependant ID every time I walked into a building, that when I returned to the US, I tried to show my ID at Target.

My husband understands. In fact, enables.
Hold on to your hats for this one folks. We've even started "drafting" GFIs. That's G for our last name, and F for family, and I for instructions. Here is a sample, set up in the traditional numbering system for military instructions (This is a draft, mind you- still have to make up iron out all the rules)

2. Allowance, Gifts, and Bonuses
2.1 Allowances:
2.1.1 Children falling under GFI will receive a weekly allowance based on their age and completion of their weekly chores.
See chart 2.1.1.

2.2 Bonuses
2.2.1 Children falling under the GFI may receive bonuses based on the following formula:

X= ((Y*Z)+(A*Z))-(S+T)

Where:
X is the bonus amount
Y is Consistency in areas of strength
Z is effort
A is improvement in areas of weakness
S is Sudaka (charity)
T is Savings (TSP)

2.3 Gifts
2.3.1Children falling under the GFI may or may not receive gifts at special occasions such as birthdays and holidays.
2.3.1.1 Gifts received from parents require a verbal thank you
2.3.1.2 Gifts received from family members other than parents require a written thank you unless otherwise specified (can be electronic)
2.3.1.3 Gifts received from non family member adults require a written thank you to be sent via postal mail (electronic thank you notes allowed only if specified)

I can hear y'all out there, you parents, laughing. Don't think I can't. I didn't even post the section on dress and appearance. Of course we're only mostly half somewhat joking.

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