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Friday, February 19, 2010

Not fair

We've all heard it, perhaps even said it: life's not fair.

It's not fair that my mom got ALS.  It's not fair that this woman, one of the first women in the Army, the woman who volunteered to go to Iraq as a civilian (at 50 something) because she knew she could be of help, the woman who is always looking for the next challenge, is going to have her muscles slowly atrophy.  She wears a brace to keep her feet from tripping her since the muscles other wise would allow her feet to flop.  She still gets around, with support from my father or a walker.  A wheelchair will eventually be needed.

It's not fair that the prognosis is estimating that she has 3-5 years left, with no guarantee on the quality of her life.  It is a progressive disease.

It's not fair that my son will not remember her, except through the stories and pictures we take now.

It's not fair that my dad, in his 70s, has to look forward to ever increasing responsibilities as her caregiver, rather than peaceful retirement.

It's not fair, any of it.

5 comments:

  1. Wow - I didn't knwo this about your mom. Was it a recent diagnosis? I am so sorry. So sorry. It's not fair. It's horrible. My thoughts and prayers and with you and your family.

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  2. The diagnosis came while I was pregnant, but she was afraid that telling me such upsetting news would endanger the baby, so I found out a few weeks after delivery.

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  3. So, if she waited so long to tell you and seems to be interested in maintaining her privacy, did you ask before you told the whole world?

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  4. @BloggingWombat- she didn't not tell me bc of privacy. She was afraid telling me would cause emotional distress (it did) and that if I was that distressed while pregnant it could be harmful.

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  5. I'm so, so sorry to hear about your Mom. Eamonn's Mom had it, too :( and it's one of my true regrets in life--that I never knew her. Thinking of you. . .

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